hmm..random graduates issue

since im stil wide awake at this hour..

one evening i was driving my nenek around kl,

nenek: alak, ngko takde lagi ke 'kawan' kat uia tu?
alak: (buat2 tak paham) haa,,kawan byk je nek, knape?
nenek: alah..kawan ape tuh,, gefren? pakwe?
alak: ohh pakwe ek nek? takde la
nenek: eh takkan a takde. ko kene cari cepat2
alak: alah takpe la nek, rilek la, alak mude lagi ape..
nenek: haa mude2 ni la kene cari, kang dah tua esok tade sape nak dah
(damn, she's right!)
nenek: uswah dah nak bertunang dah dengornye bulan 8 ni.
alak: hehe bagus la.. bla3(puji2 zayd, said he's nice..sesuai la ngan family kite bla3 --saje lari topik, tp..)
nenek:ko garang sangat ke kat sekolah tu? sampai tade org nak.
alak: haha. manede garang. dah tade sape nak, nak wat cmane. takkan nak main tangkap muat je..amik je sape2
nenek: takde la jgn main amik sape2 je..ko kene suke jugak
alak: abes dah takde sape pun yg alak berkenan (alah kalo ade pun takkan tibe2 tros dpt je kot.haha)
alak: tape la nek, belum ade jodoh agi kot, bia je la dulu
nenek: bende2 mcm ni ko kene usehe jugak. kalo ko nak, mak ngko pun bole carikan
alak: heh takpe la dulu

haha heck i cudnt imagine me pakai baju pengantin, preparing myself to be a wife. hello im so so not ready-i cant cook okay. tell me its illogic but its true, me-a 22yr old have never even goreng ikan myself. not that im manja, no. im just scared okay. a little splash of the hot oil from the pan and i'll jump. maybe over the fence str8 go to the neghbour's lawn,watever. i think i can only cook if sumone give me an outerspace suit. fully covered and i think i can cook practically anything, but of course, with the recipe book on the other hand.

and another thing is.. kawen = expensive.costly. ppl have to have at least 10k to get married. if not the bride, the groom of course (but stil not enuff!).and thats the least amount okay. i mean, where d hell can i get those amounts? i dont mean we hv to be filthy rich to kawen but of course, takkan nak tekan duit parents that much. its not like we can pay instalments all these kawen stuffs. but some parents they can sponsor their child, kalo dapat yg sponsor sume mmg best la. no, i dont criticize ppl who kawen with their parents money, i mean its their luck lah,bertuah la ade org sponsor kawen. hmm agaknye if i want to kawen jugak and jimat kos, then id better sign up for that tv program called 'cari menantu', a fren of mine adek die entered that program, best gila, got sponsored for bertunang, wedding reception kat putrajaya and even their honeymoon got sponsored as well!! and with some jewelleries stock summore (not that i love jewelleries. only like the gold so that it can be sold at higher price. haha.).but then hv to get myself the calon first ah.

hmm..when we were young (not that im old now, of course), if we got ourselves a bf or pakwe or watever u call it, the adults would give those suspicious look, words spreading among friends, mom wud even called for a little 'taaruf'-who? wat type of guy? who are the parents? where does he live? is he nice? (well mesti lah, its a mother's instinct of protecting her daughter afterall)
6 yrs later,, makcik2 started-'eih alak takkan takde boyfren kot kat uia tuh?' its becoming a taboo pulak kan - not having one. so its quite confusing, i mean can we at least be given the time line -when u have to have a bf , and when not to -obviously not in high skool. so that i can please others, i'd be ready to answer the way they want me to. obviously not like right now. ppl worrying bout me ending up being a spinster-ended up asking me back as if im not worried myself. heck whoever in this world wud love to have that title anyway~

getting another 'si dia' , the idea sounds like fun. but it did sounds LIKE fun. i mean i cudnt bear the thought of waiting the 'si dia' replying my msg, and when he didnt, worrying why, when he replied late like 30mins, i'd be wasting my 30mins thinking why, wats he up to. and the usual ridiculous conflicts among the couple,that when i heard from my frens who had those..urgh maybe im just so not fit into that world anymore. but undoubtedly theres always the FUN..well that goes unsaid rite. ehm but then.. i dont wanna be all mushy here but i think i might wanna copy-paste from peyton's podcast (imang u know wat it is.haha) so this peyton girl said "I used to have a guy to fight for, we didn’t spend like a ton of time together but you know the saying:The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long,Well that was us, and then he was gone. But before he left, he told me to move on.I guess he didn’t want to burn me with the wait, you know.But it’s like Tom Pxxx said: the waiting is the hardest part. But the heart doesn’t have a kill switch. You know, part of me is afraid that I’ll never find a love like that again. Another part of me is afraid that I will. I guess I wandered about it a lot, would finding someone else would be a betrayal of what we had? Would it make what we had any less real?" hmm enuf said.
urgh i realllyy hope that im not being all crappy right now. i thought i wont be going deep tonite but somehow i did eh? uh this is so embarassing but watdahell, my brain just rambling its way out. and i cudnt care less. haha watever lah.

so,
no im not mad with my nenek -at all, seriously. but im just tired of situation that i myself can do nothing to change it and this topic (of kawen) is getting really really and i mean REALLY boring ady.
be that as it may, im stil happy as ever to help nadia for her wedding preparation. this post doesnt automatically appointed me as an anti-marriage la kot. haha